1. Graphology

 

    The art of asking forgiveness in written form

    and affixing one’s signature to make 

    the apology formal.

 

2. Grapple

    The original apple Adam and Eve fought

    over under the instigation of the evil serpent.

 

3. Grasp

 

    The unfortunate act of clutching a poisonous snake.

 

4. Grass

 

     Green-colored hair that abundantly grows around

     the anal aperture.

 

5. Gratitude

 

    Gratitude is eternal servitude.

 

    An appreciative rodent that is feeding on

    the best cheese that money can buy!

 

6. Grave

 

    Refers to a hysterical corpse that has just

    been buried.

 

    A grassy suite at the back of a five-star 

    American hotel reserved for permanent immigrants

    to the land of eternal opportunity and bliss.

 

7. Guillotine

 

    An ingenious shaving razor invented by a Frenchman

    that can sever one’s neck in seconds and is completely

    nickproof. Named after its inventor, the guillotine proved

    its efficiency and worth during the French Revolution.

    This practical razor is currently in great demand in many

    dictatorial and totalitarian states the world over.

 

8. Gymnastics

 

    Refers to a rare species of acrobatic louse.

 

9. Hardwork

 

    The long, tedious route to a job promotion.

 

10. Hell

 

      An imaginary torture chamber that was invented by

      a sadist with a passion for eternal damnation.

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