1. IT IS MORE IMPORTANT

    TO SHOW OUR LOVE

    AND AFFECTION TO THOSE

    WHO HATE AND DESPISE US,

    INSTEADS OF THOSE WHO

    LOVE AND RESPECT US.

 

2. EVEN GREAT MEN

    HAVE A LOW OPINION

    OF THEMSELVES.

 

3. THE SELF IS

     LIKE AN ONION.

     TO FIND IT

     YOU HAVE TO

     UNRAVEL THE SELF

     LAYER BY LAYER

     UNTIL YOU FIND 

     ITS VERY CORE

     WHICH IS NOTHING.

 

4. WHEN WE LEARN 

    TO APPRECIATE WHY

    WE LACK SOMETHING,

    THEN WE WILL NOT

    CRAVE FOR ANYTHING.

 

5. ONCE YOU MASTER

    THE ART OF SAYING

    NO TO YOURSELF,

    OTHERS WILL ALWAYS

    SAY YES TO YOUR WISHES.

 

6. TO WALK TALL

    YOU MUST KNOW

    HOW TO FEEL SMALL.

 

7. BECAUSE OF HIS FEAR

    OF FALLING BACKWARD

    A HUNCHBACK STUMBLES

    AND FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE.

 

8. A MAN MUST BE ABLE

    TO HANDLE ALL

    HIS WEAKNESSES

    BEFORE HE CAN HANDLE

    HIS STRENGTHS.

 

1. SELF-PITY, MORE THAN

    JEALOUSY OR HATRED,

    IS MAN’S MOST

    DESTRUCTIVE PASSION.

 

2. SELF-PITY IS

    THE MOTHER OF DESPAIR.

 

3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY

    IN HELPING OTHERS

    SO YOU CAN’T AFFORD

    THE LUXURY OF ENGAGING

    IN SELF-PITY.

 

4. SELF-PITY IS

    THE SPICE OF LIFE

    IF YOU DON’T

    WALLOW IN IT.

 

5. ONCE YOU SINK INTO

    THE DEEPEST QUICKSAND

    OF SELF-PITY, THEN YOU

    WILL LEARN HOW 

    TO PITY OTHERS.

1.  MAN HAS A PROPENSITY

     FOR LOSING PETTY THINGS

     THAT HE OWNS AND SPENDS

     MOST OF HIS TIME SEARCHING

     FOR THEM WHEN WHAT HE

     SHOULD REALLY FOCUS ON

     IS FINDING HIMSELF.

 

2. THE ONLY THING THAT

    WE NEED TO CHANGE

    IN THIS WORLD IS

    OURSELVES AND NOT

   THE WORLD AND OTHERS.

 

3. CONFIDENCE IS WHAT

    WE ACQUIRE WHEN

    WE UNDERSTAND

    OURSELVES COMPLETELY.

 

4. WE DON’T EVEN HAVE

    TO UNDERSTAND

    OURSELVES TO BE HAPPY.

    ALL WE HAVE TO DO

    IS TO TOLERATE AND BE

    PATIENT WITH OURSELVES.

 

5. IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY

    WE MUST PRACTISE THE ART

    OF BEING HAPPY.

 

6. THE ONLY WAY TO BE

    HONEST IS TO OTHERS

    IS TO BE HONEST

    WITH OURSELVES.

 

7. WE ARE ALL EXPERTS

    IN THE ART AND SCIENCE

    OF DECEIVING OURSELVES.

 

8. OUR DOG SHOULD NOT BE

    OUR BEST FRIEND.

    WE SHOULD BE OUR OWN

    BEST FRIEND.

 

9. OTHER PEOPLE WOULD

    TRUST YOU BETTER

    IF YOU ARE FRANK

    AND HONEST

    TO YOUR SELF.

 

10. THE FIRST PERSON

       YOU SHOULD TRUST

       AND HAVE FAITH IN

       IS YOUR OWN SELF.

 

11. IN GOD WE TRUST

      OURSELVES.

 

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1. IMAGINATION IS

    A STUBBORN MULE.

    THE ONLY WAY

    TO TAME IMAGINATION

    IS TO SET IT FREE.

 

2. I AM A FREE THINKER.

    I LET MY IMAGINATION

    RUN WILD.

 

3. IMAGINATION IS 

    A GENIE WHO REFUSES

    TO BE CONTAINED

    IN THE CRAMPED CONFINES

    OF AN OLD LAMP.

 

4. IMAGINATION IS

    AS POWERFUL

    AND UNSTOPPABLE

    AS A DEADLY HERD

    OF STAMPEDING 

    ELEPHANTS!

 

5. IF YOUR IMAGINATION

    HAS NO WINGS, YOU’VE GOT

    TO INVENT AN AIRPLANE

    THAT WILL CARRY

    YOUR IMAGINATION

    TO THE STRATOSPHERE.

 

6. THE BEST WAY TO USE

     YOUR IMAGINATION

     IS TO STEAL OTHER

     PEOPLE’S IMAGINATION.

 

7. IMAGINATION IS A KITE

    WITH NO STRING

    TO TUG IT AND KEEP IT

    FROM FLYING HIGHER

    AND HIGHER.

 

8. IMAGINATION IS 

    THE HEAVEN OF THE MIND.

    IDLENESS IS THE HELL

    OF THOUGHT.

 

9. LIKE PROMETHEAN FIRE,

    YOU CAN USE YOUR

    IMAGINATION EITHER

    TO RECREATE

    OR DESTROY THE WORLD!

 

10. IT IS ONLY IMAGINATION

      THAT HAS THE MAGIC

      TO TRANSFORM FANTASY

      INTO REALITY.

 

11. GENIUS IS THE ART

      OF CLIPPING THE WINGS

      OF YOUR IMAGINATION

      WITH FLAIR AND FINESSE.

1. PLEASE DON’T DELAY ME.

    I HAVE A PRESSING ENGAGEMENT

    WITH MYSELF.

 

2. TO BLAME OTHERS FOR

     YOUR OWN MISTAKES

     IS YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE.

 

3. WHEN YOU CAN SHAKE

    HANDS WITH YOURSELF,

    THEN YOU CAN SHAKE

    HANDS WITH EVERYBODY ELSE.

1. THE ONLY WAY FOR YOUR REAL SELF

     TO SHINE LIKE THE SUN

     IS TO STOP APING OTHERS

     AND ACTING LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE.

     START BEING YOURSELF

     AND WEARING YOUR OWN FACE.

 

2. IF WE CAN ADMIT AND BEAR 

    WITH OUR OWN MISTAKES,

    THEN WE CAN FORGIVE OTHERS

    FOR THEIR MISTAKES.

 

3. FIRST YOU MUST MAKE PEACE

    WITH YOURSELF, 

    THEN YOU CAN MAKE PEACE

    WITH EVERYBODY ELSE.

 

4. THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION

    TO ASK YOURSELF ON ANY ISSUE

    IS NOT THE HOW, BUT THE WHY.

 

5. I MUST WEAR MY BEST SUIT.

    I HAVE AN INTERVIEW

    WITH MR. DEATH.

 

6. A MAN WHO HAS NO

    PRINCIPLES IN LIFE

    IS LIKE A BUILDING

    WITHOUT A FIRM

    AND SOLID FOUNDATION.

 

7. MODERN MAN IS JUST

   A TROGLODYTE

   IMPECCABLY DRESSED

   IN A SUIT AND TIE,

   ONE WHO BRANDISHES

   A BLACK UMBRELLA

   INSTEAD OF A CLUB.

 

8. COUNTLESS MEN HAVE GONE

    OUT IN THE WORLD,

    VISITING EXOTIC PLACES

    AND STRANGE LANDS–

    TURNING INTO GREAT

    ADVENTURERS AND TRAVELLERS,

    MAKING GIANT WAVES ABROAD–

    AND END UP DYING WITHOUT

    EVEN DISCOVERING

    THEIR OWN WORLD WITHIN.

THERE IS NO UNIVERSAL OR PUBLIC HELL.

EACH PERSON CREATES HIS OR HER OWN

CUSTOMIZED PRIVATE HELL. AT LEAST

ONE CAN HAVE PRIVACY IN HELL.

 

IF IT IS TRUE THAT ONE MAN’S HELL

IS ANOTHER MAN’S HEAVEN, THEN

WE CAN RECREATE OUR HELL INTO HEAVEN.

 

IMAGINE IF WE WILL ALL GO TO HELL,

THEN IT WON’T BE SUCH A CORNY PLACE.

EVERYBODY WILL BE THERE: ALL OUR

RELATIVES, FRIENDS, EX LOVERS,

ENEMIES, CREDITORS, BILL COLLECTORS,

INSURANCE AGENTS,TAX MEN, INCLUDING

OUR BLASTED LAWYER, AND OUR ADORABLE

PET IGUANA. HAIL, HAIL THE GANG’S ALL HERE!

 

iT’S SUCH A FRIGHTENING NOTION THAT HELL

WILL BE AN EXACT REPLICA OF THE KIND

OF HELL WE LEFT ON EARTH.

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1. IF

 

    What if, what if not?

    Such questions bark and hound us

    Even in deep sleep.

 

2. ILLUSIONS

 

    Triple illusions:

    The tree, its inverted reflection,

    And the placid lake.

 

3. IMAGINE

 

    Imagine this, dear,

    Imagine that. No matter

    What, it’s just a dream.

 

4. ITCH

 

    “To scratch or not,” that is

    The question. It all depends

    On your will power.

 

5. JAR

 

     A jar is bigger

     Than a cup. Yet, empty,

     Big and small are equal.

1. Men will judge your age

    by the color of your hair.

 

2. Men compute your years by

    adding up all the white strands

    on your head.

 

3. The whiteness of one’s hair

    has no bearing upon one’s wisdom.

 

4. Without our hair, our barber

    will starve to death.

 

5. A woman’s hair, up there and down

    under, is the greatest seducer of men.

 

6. The hands speak a thousand times

     more graceful than words.

 

7. A pair of beautiful hands in a man’s

    body is most incongruous.

 

8. The way a woman’s hands move

    speaks volumes about her character.

 

9. Perhaps the best way to execute

    a murderer is to hang him upside

    down so that fresh blood will rush

    to his atrophied brain and make him

    a model citizen.

 

10. Happiness is a state of consciousness

      reserved for a small minority on earth.

1. Graphology

 

    The art of asking forgiveness in written form

    and affixing one’s signature to make 

    the apology formal.

 

2. Grapple

    The original apple Adam and Eve fought

    over under the instigation of the evil serpent.

 

3. Grasp

 

    The unfortunate act of clutching a poisonous snake.

 

4. Grass

 

     Green-colored hair that abundantly grows around

     the anal aperture.

 

5. Gratitude

 

    Gratitude is eternal servitude.

 

    An appreciative rodent that is feeding on

    the best cheese that money can buy!

 

6. Grave

 

    Refers to a hysterical corpse that has just

    been buried.

 

    A grassy suite at the back of a five-star 

    American hotel reserved for permanent immigrants

    to the land of eternal opportunity and bliss.

 

7. Guillotine

 

    An ingenious shaving razor invented by a Frenchman

    that can sever one’s neck in seconds and is completely

    nickproof. Named after its inventor, the guillotine proved

    its efficiency and worth during the French Revolution.

    This practical razor is currently in great demand in many

    dictatorial and totalitarian states the world over.

 

8. Gymnastics

 

    Refers to a rare species of acrobatic louse.

 

9. Hardwork

 

    The long, tedious route to a job promotion.

 

10. Hell

 

      An imaginary torture chamber that was invented by

      a sadist with a passion for eternal damnation.